CHANGES THAT HEAL
Learning to set Boundaries
Since boundaries are such an important part of developing meaningful relationships, and avoiding getting trapped in co-dependency, it is important that we learn the skills involved in setting healthy boundaries. Here is a list.
Gain Awareness – Be aware of that boundary issues are important.
Define who you are – You need to be aware of who you are.
Define who you are not – What things must you say no to?
Develop the “NO” muscle – Don’t let other people define who you are.
Stop blaming others – We may not be responsible for where we are, but we are responsible for moving on.
Stop playing victim – There becomes a time when we need to move out of the role of the victim and start playing the role of the ruler of our own life.
Persevere – Keep on keeping on. One day at a time.
Become Active, Not Reactive – When you have poor boundaries, you tend to react to other’s behaviors.
Set Limits – The whole key to boundaries is healthy limits.
Choose Values – Decide what values you stand for and then stand up for them.
Practice Self-Control – Don’t let your desires (hurts habits and hang-ups) rule your life. Take a stand and rule them for a change. A good and healthy change.
Accept Others – When we have a good understanding of who we are, and what we are about, what others say or do does not effect us as much. We can lean to accept and even to love others in spite of their differences.
Realize your separateness – Being separate is a good thing. You can deal with things on your own in your own way. Time apart enhances a relationship by creating a longing.
Be Honest – As we deal honestly with each other it will bring us closer and we will be more trusting of each other.
Challenge Distorted Thinking – The truth will wet us free. Determine what is truth vs opinion, or perception. Think truthfully about yourself.