Remember the Robin Williams character Mork? He had an advantage over us in that he was born an adult, and as he got older, became more childish. Perhaps life would be easier if we could do that.
I can remember all my childhood thinking about how things would be when I finally grew up. For the most part, my parents left me alone, and I had to determine out how to do life mostly on my own. Many people hear things from their parents so much as a kid, that when they leave home, they can still hear their parent’s voices telling them what to do and how to do it. It is these voices that we need to recognize, and learn to start doing things our own way and not feel like we are usurping our parent’s authority while we are doing it.
Chapter 15 includes a description of many of these voices and how they are affecting our lives as adults. People who have any experience with ACA (Adult Children Anonymous) may recognize several of these things, but they are certainly not limited to adult children of alcoholics.
Inordinate need for approval Fear of disapproval
Guilt Sexual struggles
Fear of failure Need for permission
Feelings of inferiority Competitiveness
Loss of power No equal differences
Black-and-White thinking Judgementalism
Anxiety attacks Impulsiveness and inhibition
Superiority Parenting others
Hate for authority figures Depression
Dependency Idealization of authority
Idealization of childhood
Take a look at the list of distorted thinking on page 241. I see many similarities to the list of Adult Child Characteristics.