Month: June 2004

Living Stones

Dear friends,

As Carole and I were reading scripture the other day, this passage jumped out at me. It was such a leap, that I just had to share it, and see if anybody out there agrees with me that this may make a good name for our ministry. The name I am suggesting is Living Stones. Here is the scripture:

1 Peter 2:4-12: (NIV)
4. As you come to him, the living Stone–rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him– 5. you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6. For in Scripture it says:
“See, I lay a stone in Zion,
a chosen and precious cornerstone,
and the one who trusts in him
will never be put to shame.”[1] 7. Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe,
“The stone the builders rejected
has become the capstone,[2] “[3] 8. and,
“A stone that causes men to stumble
and a rock that makes them fall.”[4] They stumble because they disobey the message–which is also what they were destined for.
9. But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
11. Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. 12Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.

We are all at different points in recovery in our lives. The one thing this group has in common is that we have come far enough in the process of our own recovery that our desire to help others. When we were at our worst, we felt rejected, broken, fallen. But Christ saw in our brokenness a powerful brick that he could use to build His Kingdom.

We are now living stones building the Kingdom of God for others to enjoy. The strength that we have brings protection, grace, healing and strength to others, and so the Kingdom is being built just as it has for the past 2000 years.

We are so blessed to have each other. I hope to see some of you at our home July 4th. Don’t forget about our next meeting on July 11th. If you want to read this mail again, or make comments, You may do so at www.recoverme.org. Just enter the WebLog.

May God richly bless you and your family!

-Ron

Psalm 13

Another Sunday morning has come and passed.

This Sunday we took a look at Psalm 13:

Psalm 13

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

1 How long, O LORD ? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the LORD , for he has been good to me.

If this doesn’t ring a bell with those of us familiar with recovery issues, I don’t know what does. It can seem like forever to us when we are stuck in a bad situation. We wrestle with our thoughts, desires, habits and actions.

I believe that placing our trust in God can mean bringing safe people into relationship with ourselves. Safe people who can be with us during bad times are like a healing medicine. May our God help us to be that medicine in other’s lives.

-Ron

4 Areas Where We Have a Hard Time Getting it Right.

There are four main areas in our lives where it’s hard to get it right.

Bonding. Boundaries. Good vs Bad. Feeling Grown Up.

As we use the tools of Grace, Truth and Time, we can take a realistic look at our lives, and see where circumstances may have dealt us a short hand. Understanding these issues can help us deal with where we currently live, and help us understand why we tend to react in certain ways when relating with others.

Relationships are the most important investments we can make in our lives. They are arguably the only investment that we can take with us when we leave this life for the next. Bonding is the first emotional need we experience. We likely have a sense of bonding to our mothers before we are born. As we grow, other people will fill this very important role in our lives. We need to seek them out, and not isolate our lives.
As we grow bonds with others, we run into the need for Boundaries. Not every human being we meet will enter into a nourishing relationship with us. We need the fences of boundaries in our lives to define what is ours and what is not.
Are you Good, or are you Bad? The answer is yes! We often confuse ourselves into thinking that just because we do a bad thing, we are all bad. Or we strive to do things that will make us feel like we are a good person. Even Santa Clause usually gives grace to bad kids and does not withhold a Christmas present from them. What we receive in life is NOT based on weather we are good or bad. The rain falls on the just as well as the unjust.
How do you feel around others? Do you sometimes feel like you are the child, and they are the adult? Or is it the other way around? Once we can accept ourselves and others as Grown Up life can take on a new perspective. We can enter into a peer relationship with them. When we no longer accept the bullying of others, or try to take control of other lives, we can concentrate on our own growth and well being.

In the coming weeks, we will be looking into these issues in depth. We will look at what happens when we get it right, and what happens when we get it wrong.

Questions to consider:

Why do we need grace? Why do we need truth? Why do we need time?

Do you feel a healthy bond to another person? What does that feel like?

Do you feel an unhealthy bond to another person? Could this possibly be fixed by using appropriate boundaries?

How do you feel about your “bad” side? Are there people who see your “bad” side?

Do you feel like you always need to show your “good” side?

Do you feel like an equal when dealing with your friends? How about your boss? How about the CEO of your company?

How do you feel when dealing with a homeless person? How about somebody who has less training than you?

Father’s Day

Hi all,

This Sunday as I was reading the Sunday funny papers, and in particular Peanuts, I was reminded of Dad.

I have been working on updating my new website www.recoverme.org as well as working on material for our Friday night study. This Sunday’s Peanuts was about how Charlie Brown’s dad received grace from an acquaintance of his. You can read the strip at: GO Comics .

I remember how Dad always read the funny papers on Sunday morning, and this many times gave him something to talk about either from the pulpit (perhaps taking some of the attention from us kids).

One of the newest ways of communication is called a blog. Blog is short for “Web Log” and was originally used by people who found interesting things on the Internet, and wanted a place to share them with friends and family.

My new blog can be found at www.recoverme.org. This EMAIL will be posted there, and you are all welcome to visit, and post your comments. I am hoping to use this new forum to communicate the healing gospel to people using the internet.

Happy Father’s day Dad!
(sorry you won’t see the blog)

Psalm 77

"Psalm 77

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm.

1 I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint.
Selah
4 You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

7 "Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?"
Selah

10 Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD ; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

13 Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
Selah

16 The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.

20 You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.

We have all had dry periods in our lives. Times when we wonder why God isn’t listening to us. I think this is actually a good time to learn to lean on others. Perhaps God is calling us out of our isolation by making us thirst for people we can bond with.

I went through a rather dry period in my life. I describe it like being in a deep swimming pool, and not being able to swim. I could look at the side of the pool and see God there, but I felt like I was drowning and He was just watching me without taking any action.

In order to get through this time in my life, God had to send safe people into my life to provide the healing. At first I didnt recognise that as being the hand of God, but now it is very clear to me that this was the way that God chose to rescue me from that deep pool I found myself drowning in.

Do you have safe people in your life that you can bond with when times are troubling?"

Friday June 18 Questions

Three ingredients of growth:

GRACE_+_TRUTH
TIME

Just as a tree needs good soil and nutrients to grow tall and strong over a period of time, we need essential ingredients in our lives to experience strength and growth. These essential ingredients are grace and truth. The bible has many descriptions of God, and when they are all summed up, they describe a God who is full of grace and truth. Growth only comes over time. For us to become healthy and strong, it requires the proper ingredients in our lives, and time for it to work.

What is grace?

What is truth?

As you were growing up, who was the best example of grace?

Who was an example of truth?

Did your parents, siblings, peers, or teachers treat you with grace and truth?

Does your perception of God lean more toward grace or truth?

Have you experienced times in your life where growth has not happened?

Describe a time when you have felt touched by grace.

Do you feel like truth is mean?

Have you experienced truth without grace?

Can you give yourself grace when facing the truth about yourself?

Where are these essential ingredients for your growth coming from today?

Psalm 133

A song of ascents. Of David.

1 How good and pleasant it is when brothers ( and sisters ) live together in unity!
2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard,
running down on Aaron’s beard, down upon the collar of his robes.
3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion.
For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.

Those of us from dysfunctional families know what it is like when brothers and sisters live together in dis-unity. Our calling is to be like this Psalm by bringing the healing first to our own lives and then help others find their healing.

When we share our experience, strength and hope, we become like the scented oil poured down on Aaron’s head. Other people can tell that we are somehow different and will want to come and hear what we have to share.

Persons from a dysfunctional background may not recognize the scent, or may even be put-off by it in some cases. But as we live Godly lives in front of them, they will see through our example that even though we are only human like they are, we have the strength and hope which can only come from a personal relationship with our higher power Jesus Christ.

The lives of many of those around us are singed by years of private hurts, habits and hang-ups. Those lives are crying out for moisture which many lives have never seen. Carole told me that a case came into her unit this past week where kids were in a very abusive family. They had no idea at all what it was like to be treated with love and respect. Their lives were so scorched by abuse, that the Social Worker assigned to the case was overwrought with empathy for the kids. There are many lives out there like that. They are longing to be “normal”, be they have no idea what normal is. As we share our lives with others, the healing that comes to families will be much like the dew falling on scorched and charred lives. This moisture can be soothing at first, and then can promote real growth.