There are four main areas in our lives where it’s hard to get it right.
Bonding. Boundaries. Good vs Bad. Feeling Grown Up.
As we use the tools of Grace, Truth and Time, we can take a realistic look at our lives, and see where circumstances may have dealt us a short hand. Understanding these issues can help us deal with where we currently live, and help us understand why we tend to react in certain ways when relating with others.
Relationships are the most important investments we can make in our lives. They are arguably the only investment that we can take with us when we leave this life for the next. Bonding is the first emotional need we experience. We likely have a sense of bonding to our mothers before we are born. As we grow, other people will fill this very important role in our lives. We need to seek them out, and not isolate our lives.
As we grow bonds with others, we run into the need for Boundaries. Not every human being we meet will enter into a nourishing relationship with us. We need the fences of boundaries in our lives to define what is ours and what is not.
Are you Good, or are you Bad? The answer is yes! We often confuse ourselves into thinking that just because we do a bad thing, we are all bad. Or we strive to do things that will make us feel like we are a good person. Even Santa Clause usually gives grace to bad kids and does not withhold a Christmas present from them. What we receive in life is NOT based on weather we are good or bad. The rain falls on the just as well as the unjust.
How do you feel around others? Do you sometimes feel like you are the child, and they are the adult? Or is it the other way around? Once we can accept ourselves and others as Grown Up life can take on a new perspective. We can enter into a peer relationship with them. When we no longer accept the bullying of others, or try to take control of other lives, we can concentrate on our own growth and well being.
In the coming weeks, we will be looking into these issues in depth. We will look at what happens when we get it right, and what happens when we get it wrong.
Questions to consider:
Why do we need grace? Why do we need truth? Why do we need time?
Do you feel a healthy bond to another person? What does that feel like?
Do you feel an unhealthy bond to another person? Could this possibly be fixed by using appropriate boundaries?
How do you feel about your “bad” side? Are there people who see your “bad” side?
Do you feel like you always need to show your “good” side?
Do you feel like an equal when dealing with your friends? How about your boss? How about the CEO of your company?
How do you feel when dealing with a homeless person? How about somebody who has less training than you?