Failure to set boundaries can cause vary caustic substances to build up in our lives. These include Depression, Panic, Resentment, Passive-Aggressive Behavior, Codependency, Identity Confusion, Difficulties with Aloneness, Masochism, Victim Mentality, Blaming, Overresponsibility, Guilt, Underresponsibility, Feelings of Obligation, Feelings of being Let Down, Isolation, Extreme Dependency, Disorganization, Lack of Direction, Substance Abuse, Eating Disorders, Procrastination, Impulsivity, Generalized Anxiety, and Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior.
Whew! That’s quite a laundry list. Most of us can relate to several. Boundaries simply means that you know who you are, and who you aren’t. You realize that although other people can influence your decision, they shouldn’t be dictating your decisions. You should also not be dictating the decisions of others.
I could pick several areas of my life to share from. Probably the one that effected my life the most overall was Codependency.
When I was dating my first wife (I was just a teenager) I saw myself as a stronger Christian than her. I thought that she was a person who could really use a strong Christian in her life to help her along and prompt her to serve God more (or at least more like me). She was like a missionfield to me. As our relationship continued, it seemed like it was logically going toward marriage. I also took on myself more and more responsibility for her happiness and I sacrificed many of my values and took her value for my own. I had no idea that this was just the beginning of a long and co-dependent relationship.
Learning boundaries is important. Applying boundaries to an already codependent relationship can be fatal. If you find yourself in this place, seek professional help (Online Counseling could be a good place to start). Don’t live life alone. If you need help, go find it.
"