As I was preparing for our Friday Night Solutions meeting this week, I felt prompted to share something this week about Mothers.
I searched the scriptures for references about mothers. I found many pointing toward a strong and tenacious love that mothers have. This Sunday Mark Norman spoke from Romans 16:13 where in a middle of a list Paul says the following:
“Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too.”(NIV)
Mark’s message was about the tenacity of a mother’s love which we certainly cannot deny. However in the sinful world in which we live, we realize that there is no such thing as the perfect mom. Many children are raised without a mom (truly a bad thing), or a mom who is not always there or not as loving as the children always need. Depression, drug abuse, anxiety, or just the “cares of this world” too often get in the way of raising children.
These children of human mothers may grow up and feel damaged by their lack of the loving security of a mom who is always there, but I would like to say that they are NOT damaged, simply that they have not yet developed all of their emotional tools. God sends in people to fill in the gaps, and we must do the work to see where we are emotionally deficient and ask God to help us to finish our development in those areas. This should become part of our 12 step process.
I had a wonderful mom as I was growing up. She always made sure that all of my physical needs were met. I do however remember many times when I just felt like I needed a hug, and so I would just cry and cry. My crying was usually met with a statement like “stop feeling sorry for yourself”, or my dad would say “stop crying or I will give you something to cry about.” I had an emotional need that went unmet for many years in my life.
More recently in my life I have discovered a psychological term called “object constancy”. This is where a child feels loved even though the parent may be temporarily absent. I feel like this object constancy was something I never developed until later in my life.
One person that God brought into my life as an adult was Sheri Meeker. Sheri is a wife to her husband Steve, and mother to her kids Randy and Holly. As a young married person my wife and I would go to their house to play cards and enjoy each other’s company. I was not a very assertive person, and many times my comments would simply go unsaid because somebody else would speak first and I would always back off and let them speak. While playing cards, Sheri noticed that I had things to say and so in those times that I would hesitate to speak out she started by asking me “Ron, what were you about to say?”. For the first time in my life, I felt like somebody cared to hear what I had to say. This did much to boost my self esteem.
Sheri is a trained and Spirit Filled counselor. To date she has touched countless lives by simply being there to listen and impart Godly wisdom to the people who came to her. She would often say that the wisdom she shared during her counseling sessions was not from her, but were words and concepts delivered to her heart from God. I believe this to be very true.
I want to celebrate Sheri’s life today because she is truly like Rufus’ mother mentioned in Romans 16. I have no doubt that if the Apostle Paul knew Sheri there would be a similar greeting to her.
We have been praying for the Meeker family for the past many years. When Carole was diagnosed with cancer Sheri was once again a source of strength and comfort to us. It was someplace she had been and her struggle filled us with hope. We did not feel so alone knowing that she had been in the same battle.
Steve and Sheri have been battling cancer for many years now, and it looks like that battle may be coming to an end. This end is far from the end that we have hoped and prayed for. We are not giving up, but simply letting God decide what is best. This world we live in is full of sin and evil. The life we are going to, where Sheri may be soon, is far beyond this sin and evil. Sheri’s battle will be over, and she will be able to say that she has won the battle because although the cancer may have taken her body, her soul and spirit belong to God. Steve and the rest of the family will need our prayers and support as they grieve the loss of a great wife and mother. For them, we pray the serenity prayer.
My prayer for you is that you will honor your mother today. Also since remembering that mom isn’t absolutely perfect, you may need to use step 4 to help identify those areas where you have room to grow. Once identified may God send a Sheri into your life to help you grow.
For more information, visit my website at http://www.recoverme.org You may read this post again in the blog (weblog) there.
God’s grace and peace to you all!
-Ron
Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change
The COURAGE to change the things I can
And the WISDOM to know the difference.
Excerpt from the 12 steps:
Step 4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.